Everyday Goddess

Halfway Through May Play!

It is rather absurdly difficult to be active for at least 30 minutes every day. So far, I've missed two Fridays because I meant to come home and do a full-body stretch plus abs or Just Dance 3 on the Wii, and I completely forgot.

I missed a Saturday because I wasn't in the mood.

And today I thought I'd get some walking in between the metro and where I'm going tonight... only to find out that where I'm going is literally at the subway stop. So talking the stairs in and out of the subway is going to have to cut it for today.

The increase in activity has been challenging physically, too. I've biked to work twice a week for 3 weeks now, and that ride home is kinda rough. At the end of the work day I think, Am I really going to get on my bike right now? Is this really happening right now? And then I just get on the bike and ride home, because thinking about it isn't gonna get it done.

When I get home I carry my bike up a flight of stairs to my apartment, and I think about that as the cherry on top. Woohoo!

So last week I biked a total of 20 miles and walked a total of 10 miles. Whew!

I've also had moments of feeling better than I have in years. Strong. Empowered.

Every time I get in shape, and it's so hard, I think about how I need to STAY in shape so that I don't have to go through this again. And here I am. Again.

But I'm getting there, and there's no way I'm stopping now. Particularly because of my lifestyle and my ongoing career goals, my health and my mental acuity are just too important to me to let them seep away on my couch.

It's actually really helping to challenge myself to do something EVERY DAY. I've missed a couple days, but I am keeping at it. Feels good.

Hope your May's had some play!

Meet the Characters of "Zero Sight"

But first, some bloggy angst.

(You can page down to the headline "Meet the Characters of Zero Sight to skip the bloggy angst if you'd like.)

So I've got this little action webseries, and I want to shoot season one for $150K over 10 days. Which sounds crazy high if you're running around with two friends and a camera, and pretty damn reasonable if you're a reputable production company pulling off a ten-day shoot without breaking any laws or pissing off SAG-AFTRA. Did I mention it's an *action* web series? With lots of locations and stunt work?

I've been researching crowdfunding, considering trying to shoot just the first three episodes (still expensive as it's a matter of increasing returns as a shoot goes on), and dreaming about my dream talent. Trying to take the impossible one step at a time.

Cut to a simple pitch document I've been staring at for months. The one I want to send to said dream talent.

I've got some awful case of writer's block, or fear of the impossible, or some mean streak of lazy going on. Man, I don't know. I've been doing a lot of *thinking* about "Zero Sight" but the progress I have made on the pitch document has been painfully, painfully slow going.

I watched this wonderful TedTalk from the awesome Colleen Wainwright a few weeks ago, "Are You Sure It's Impossible?" In it, she quotes Merlin Mann as saying that when you're dealing with focus issues or procrastination issues: First, care. She suggests maybe you don't care enough about the thing you want to do. "Make sure you really care." Check it out:

I saw this video, thankfully, just a few days after someone at a party asked me what projects I was working on. And "Zero Sight" came bubbling up, and I told her all about it and how awesome it is.

I dream of "Zero Sight." My big, expensive web series. Yes, I Really Care.

And then I went home and stared at my document. And paced. And went back to dreaming about shot design. And talent. And cameras. And locations.

None of which I get if I don't:

1. Finish the pitch document
2. Outline the website / Get something up there
3. Reach out to talent

There's two phone calls in the web series, and I'm going to record those at the end of June to put up on the - currently nonexistant - website, along with some awesome sketches my costume designer did, etc. Basically, anything I can do to bring some life to "Zero Sight" in terms of images and pictures and sounds.

And I've been thinking and thinking and thinking. What's been going on with me, I still don't quite know, but I suddenly realized that the place I write most often, and most productively, is the box I'm typing into right now. When I write, I'm in Typepad, and I'm blogging.

I suddenly thought to just blog about the "Zero Sight" characters, and then tighten up whatever comes out for that part of the pitch document. Note that things are subject to change after input from my creative team in place so far: the writer, Michael Patrick Sullivan, and the production company Epic Level Entertainment.

This is also me breaking the task down to smaller bits. This bit: Character descriptions. Without further ado:

~

Meet the Characters of Zero Sight

ALEX is a hard-working prosecutor who's eager to please. Fired by the District Attorney for lacking "killer instinct" just a day before she accidently kills an assassin in her apartment, Alex agrees to a crazy plan hatched by her geeky downstairs neighbor. Posing as "The Raven" will likely lead Alex to whoever's trying to kill her - but just how long can you pose as an assassin before you really have to kill someone?

BAXTER is a impressive weapons expert, on account of the video game playing. Oh, and the video game writing. His upstairs neighbor is hot, but she's clearly going to need some guidance from someone with strategic planning skills - and balls - to deal with the dead assassin in her apartment.

THE RAVEN is a Eurotrash douchbag of an assassin. He doesn't live very long.

THE WOMAN is a sexy, modulated voice on the phone. She doesn't really care who's doing the hit, so long as it's getting done.

MALONE is just a guy on a park bench who The Woman wants Alex to kill. Lucky for Malone, Alex and Baxter hatch a plan to keep him alive. For now.

DA ADAMS is a rather pompous District Attorney who likes to throw his weight around. He knows who needs to go down, and he's not above asking his prosecutors to bend the law to send the bad guys to jail where they belong. He's also not above firing prosecutors who lack the killer instinct to get the job done.

MISTER JANNI is the beleagured landlord of Alex and Baxter. He knows a thing or two about guns, too, and it's not from playing video games.

~

So those are the awesome characters from Season One of "Zero Sight." What do you think?

More to come... I'm working on "Zero Sight" and a couple of other projects right now, and thankfully all the energy and work seem to be feeding into one other. So expect some updates on other projects, and more on "Zero Sight" as well. Things are happening!

Also, I really, really need a creative producing partner on "Zero Sight." It's really the missing ingredient - besides funding, of course - so if you're interested in coming on board, shoot me an email at lizriz217 AT earthlink DOT net. With any luck I'll have a pitch document to send you soon.

May Play, Day 1: And then I caught a cold.

Seriously.

Yesterday I wanted to get a jump on May by biking to work. I hadn't biked to work before, so this was a mix of wise choices and poor choices. Wise: I pegged my jeans, remembered my water, and used my inhaler. Poor: I buried my tissues in my backpack. So when my nose started to run, it was sniffle, sniffle, sniffle all the way to work.

Stop and dig them out, you're thinking? Pish!

I got to work, blew my nose, and proceeded to triumphantly get on with my day. Except... I couldn't seem to shake off the sniffles. And my face was still red a few hours into the day. My skin around my nose looked all irritated. And by early afternoon I could deny it no longer: I had a cold.

Seriously?!

Now, obviously, I'm not going to get a cold every time I bike to work. I suspect it was already coming on and biking in the morning chill for the first time just swung my immunity door wide open. For the ride home I stuffed my pockets with tissues, took it slow, and stopped several times to blow my nose. Sporty, Oh, YEAH.

So today, the first day of my May Play, I'm home from work with a cold, basically freebasing fresh-squeezed orange juice. I had to cancel my plans for tonight, and I'm not feeling very playful. What to do?

It's just 30 minutes of movement, right? So I thought about the Wii - Maybe if I just do the Just Dance 3 dances really half-assed?

Yeah, that made my head spin to think about.

So I cracked out my Jane Fonda Personal Trainer Series and did one of the 25-minute weight training work outs, plus 1 segment from 5-Day Abs by The Firm. I'm planning to use the personal trainer series a lot this month because one thing I've been thinking about is how May Play isn't about kicking your ass. It's not about boot camp or being Angelina Jolie's body double (although a girl can dream...).

It's just about moving your body for 30 minutes a day, every day. Emphasis on the ease and the fun and the feel-goodness of that.

I've got a lot more exercise tapes that are seriously hard-core, but that's not what this month's about. So I did a little, very light, weight lifting and some ab work, and I'm calling that a Day 1 Win. It didn't burn that many calories, but I feel good about it.

Man, do I love pec flies. Even with 3-pound weights. Oh, yes.

As for my mental state... I'm going back to bed. Sniff.

What did you do today? Hopefully it involved a lot less tissues.

 

May Play! May Play!

Resolved for May: May Play! I'm committing to more playing, physically and mentally.

Physically speaking, I'm committing to at least 30 minutes of exercise every day in May. I've been tracking my food occasionally with My Fitness Pal, and one thing that's jumped out at me is the difference just a small amount of exercise in a day makes. A light workout doesn't make me eat more, but suddenly my normal amount of calorie consumption moves below my calorie goal (since I've "earned" extra calories for the day). Basically, I can eat the way I want (read: drink yummy whole milk and butter) if I just add some exercise.

I've been blown away by how important exercise is since reading "Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain" by John J. Ratey, and I think committing to 30 minutes a day is really going to make a difference in my health. A friend sent me this great video from Dr. Mike Evans, check it out:

My plan involves biking to work, going to yoga and YAS, and Just Dance 3 on my Wii. I'm also planning to bust out some workout tapes and other physical Wii games, like Sports Resort and I just got Punch Out! Basically, if I get to the end of a day and I haven't gotten any exercise, I just have to rev up the Wii for 30 minutes.

And play! May Play!

Mentally speaking, my May Play is about approaching my creative work from a fun, playful place. Both, what makes a particular project fun, appealing, and delightful to its audience, and how can I come at the work that needs to be done from a more playful place. I've been gradually shifting my mindset about the way I approach my projects. I try to remember what it felt like to write stories as a child and a teen, and click into that feeling. More fearless, more free. Less "How Am I Ever Going To Pull This Off?" and more "This Is Awesome!"

I love a big, fat 31-day month. Makes me just want to fill it up with challenging goals and good work. And I'm really looking forward to seeing how I feel on June 1st, physically and mentally, because I think this May is really going to get the rest of me and my year clicking along.

I encourage you to take a look at your calendar - How can you add more play to your May?

May Play! Who's with me?

A Good Year

I'm a big proponent of giving yourself time.

Our world and our minds move so quick these days, but still there are things that take more time than you'd like. Healing after a loss is a big one, for example, be it a death or heartbreak.

People rarely want to give themselves the time these things often take.

2009. 2010. 2011.

These were very challenging years for me. Romantically. Careerwise. Financially.

When I got my current job in October - after one hell of a summer - I decided that the holidays would be the holidays, and 2012 - ALL of 2012 - would be my recovery year. I would get through things one by one, step by step, and I would be kind to myself.

I'm slowly getting through various items on my life-repair to do list.

Routine medical stuff. Financial stuff. Car air conditioning that I *seriously* should have fixed last summer no matter what it took, was finally fixed last week.

Spring cleaning: check.

Creative work: in progress.

Long overdue dental work: next up.

I currently make 20% less per year than I made in 2009. And I am damn glad to make it - let's be clear about that. I crazylove my job right now and about a million things about it.

But, I have to remind myself about that 20%. When I'm frustrated in the supermarket because the money left in my checking account will cover my last few needs of the pay period, but not a frozen pizza. I walk down the aisles mentally moving between sincere gratitude that I have money to buy good food, and deep negative feelings about the fact that I can't afford a treat.

It's really quite absurd.

I promised myself a whole year of recovery, I promised myself kindness and understanding and acceptance, and part of me could barely wait until March to feel angry, frustrated, impatient. Who is this person who's right back to 2002; counting pennies to have enough to pay for parking? Again.

But with 2012 barely four months in, the best of me already knows: This is a very good year.

Even if progress is slow. Even if lessons are painful.

I earned this year. I earned some time. I *will* give myself kindness and ease.

So when part of me looks around and wonders what happened, most of me can only laugh at how life pretzels, and what it takes to learn lessons, and what I've discovered about happiness. The single most important lesson I have learned in life, is that true happiness doesn't come from anything outside of yourself. You have to be happy first, from the inside. Otherwise, you'll achieve some goal, some dream, and then you'll sit and wonder why you're still not happy. And then you'll just strive towards something else that will do the trick. Except it won't. At least, that's how it is for me.

Every day in my shower I give thanks for warm, running water. That's a little miracle so many of us experience every single day. Life is amazing.

My recent successes are small, so small, but they're mine. My life may not impress others, but it sure brings me joy. I'm so grateful for my blessings, and my challenges.

A whole year. A good year.

~

Linky goodness:

What It Means to Live the Dream - by Lori Deschene on Tiny Buddha

the myth of the missing moon - by Karen Maezen Miller on Cheerio Road

On my mind this week, and this is an absolutely beautiful cover by Kappa Danielson: